Valium Talk
by Atreyl
Summary: Mello knew the effects of Valium. So when the doctor told him that Matt had been given some to dull his senses, Mello fully expected loopy, sluggish behavior. But he didn't expect Matt to act like a pregnant woman.


**I know I said I'd be inactive for a while, but yesterday was BB's birthday, therefore THEY ARE AN EXCEPTION. So I wrote this for them as a birthday present, even though I planned to post it yesterday...**

**Oh well, at least it's up, yes?  
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**Valium Talk**

"How's the little bitch?" Mello asked uninterestedly, his arms folded against his chest, legs crossed, and an eyebrow raised at the doctor.

The man adjusted the collar of his white shirt before replying, a little uncertainly, "He's just fine, er..." he looked at Mello, as if trying to gauge something, "sir. His left wrist was twisted, so we had to snap it back in place. There are a few minor cuts and bruises on his face and arms, but otherwise he should be ready to go home this afternoon."

Mello breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god," he said crossly. "If I don't have chocolate within the next hour, I'm going to implode." He stood from the arm chair he'd been sitting on, giving the doctor an expectant look. "Well, aren't you going to let me see him?"

The doctor opened his mouth to tell him that Matt was resting, but one look at Mello's eyes made him mumble, "He's right this way."

The clacking of the heels of Mello's boots sounded across the floor as he was led through a complicated series of hallways. It didn't help that anything and everything was white: the walls, several gurneys sitting out, the gowns of patients, the uniforms, the doors, floor, and so on. Mello, in his black leather outfit, stood out crudely in the scene.

"He's right in here," the doctor informed Mello, pushing open a door that had the number 116 on it. "We injected him with some Valium to dull the senses. There's a probability it hasn't worn off yet, so you should excuse any out-of-character behavior.

Mello was barely listening, his eyes glued to the pale redhead lying in a mass of white sheets and pillows. As the doctor had said, there was a small, purple bruise near the left side of Matt's chin, most likely from when his face had slammed into the counter before going down.

Mello muttered several profanities under his breath. Leave it to Matt to slip on an ice cube, knock over a container of knives, and go sprawling on the floor. He was just lucky he hadn't been skewered by said knives.

"I'll go retrieve the patient release form," the doctor said, then left, shutting the door softly behind him.

"God, Matt," Mello said the second after they were alone. In three strides, he'd cleared the distance between the bed and the door. "You're an idiot, you know that? A clumsy idiot."

Matt didn't reply, as expected. It was almost scary how dead he looked.

Mello put a hand lightly on the bruise, feeling the slight swell. He eyed the gamer's bandaged wrist, already imagining the whining Matt would do...

"Mello, I can't play any games anymore!"

"Mello, I'm booooored and I can't play my DS!"

"Mello, I can't open the door!"

"Mello, entertain me!"

Of course, Mello can think of a _few_ ways to entertain him, but that's not relevant.

Oh-so carefully, Mello moved his hand to Matt's eye(the doctors had removed his goggles), taking the eyelid and pulling it up slightly. Matt's sleepy blue orbs stared back at him, though not quite.

"Idiot," Mello repeated, but his voice was soft.

Suddenly, Mello was forced to withdraw his hand as Matt blinked several times. He sat up, rubbing his eye gingerly. "What'cha touchin' my eye for?" he slurred, attempting a glare.

Mello snorted, putting a hand on his hip. "I hope you had a good time nearly getting yourself killed," he said sarcastically. "Did you know you broke your wrist? That's all your fault, by the way, so you better not come complaining to me when you can't play on your DS." He narrowed his eyes at Matt.

Matt, on the other hand, was looking back up at him with watering eyes.

Mello's resolve didn't falter.

Matt's lower lip trembled.

Mello growled in the back of his throat, forcing himself to avert his eyes to the fake flowers on the side table. "Whatever. Just be ready to get the hell out of here. I've already given too much information."

"M-Mello..." Matt murmured, reaching up and tugging on the blond's finger. When Mello stared at him boredly, Matt continued, "I want a hug..."

"Matt!" Mello snapped, stepping away harshly from the redhead.

"I'm sorry!" Matt bawled, immediately putting his hands up as if to shield himself. The sudden movement sent a jolt of pain up his arm and he cried out, more tears pouring down his face.

To the side, Mello watched him with a gaping mouth, wondering how the hell the Valium could do this. Didn't it just make you...loopy? He didn't remember having read about it making someone so emotional.

"All right, I have the forms-" Then the doctor entered the room and saw the scene. He turned to Mello with a disapproving look on his face.

"What?" Mello said irately. "He started it."

"I'm sorry!" Matt sobbed.

"If you're causing disturbances," the doctor began, "we'll have no use but to make you leave."

At this, Matt sobered up. He stopped his crying, wiping away the tears to smile at the doctor. "It's okay," he said brightly. "Melly-jelly and I were just playing."

Both the doctor and Mello looked stunned.

Matt's eyes teared up again. "I wanna go home!" he shrieked, pounding his fists into the comforter over and over again. "I wanna go home!"

"Matt." Mello's eyes practically shot daggers.

Matt's expression changed once more to a sweet smile. "Yeah, Mels?" he chirped.

"Give me the forms, I'd like to get out of here as soon as possible," Mello growled to the doctor, who handed the papers over. As Mello filled it out, Matt busied himself by pointing to an 'airplane' that he claimed was flying around.

"There." Mello thrust the papers at the doctors chest. "Now get him out."

"Y-yes," the doctor stammered, slinging Matt's arm gently over his shoulder and beginning to pull him up.

"No!" Matt wailed, thrashing around. "No, no, no! Mello, he's _hurting me_!"

"Hey!" Mello yanked on the doctor's fancy lab coat.

"I'm not hurting him!" the doctor said in a pleading tone. "I'm not, I swear!"

"Mello!" Matt screamed. "Make him stop! He's hurting me!"

Mello finally shoved the doctor away, taking his place. "Where did he hurt you?" he asked with genuine concern.

Matt sniffled. "H-his heartbeat stick was digging into my shoulder," he explained, pouting.

"Heartbeat stick?" Mello echoed.

"I think he means my stethoscope," the doctor supplied.

Mello rolled his eyes. "Now that that's cleared up, get your clothes back on, Matt," he ordered. He turned to the doctor. "We'll be fine," he said, and there was a finality in his voice that the man couldn't argue with.

The doctor left.

Mello walked over to the other side of the bed to where Matt's clothes laid, neatly folded. "Right, now get up and put these on," he commanded.

"Yes Mello." Matt got out of the bed with wobbly legs, leaning on Mello for support. The blond stood, patiently holding Matt's arm.

After a few minutes of just staring at each other, Mello finally asked, "What are you waiting for?"

Matt turned pink in the face. "Um," he said tentatively, "I don't want to change in front of you."

"Why the hell not?" Mello said exasperatedly. "You've been naked in front of me before, just do it."

"I want my privacy!" Matt screeched.

Mello winced. "Fine!" he said. "But don't be yelling for me when you fall to the floor and can't get back up." With that, he turned around.

"No, go in the corner!" Matt whined.

Mello was halfway turned around when Matt shouted, "Don't turn around! I'm _naked_!"

Mello turned back around with gritted teeth, walking to the corner and stuffing his face in.

"Thank you Melly," Matt said happily.

And so fifteen minutes later, the redhead was fully dressed in his shirt, jeans, and vest, bugging Mello to take him home already. So Mello was practically dragged from the hospital and to the Camaro that he'd parked outside, seating Matt in the shotgun seat.

"Yay, I get shotgun!" Matt squealed ecstatically, wriggling around as Mello got in the front seat. The chocoholic merely snorted, turning on the ignition and then beginning to speed home.

"Mello," Matt whispered some time later in a quiet voice.

"What?" Mello asked.

Matt paused, leaning to the side to whisper in Mello's ear, "My doodle hurts."

Mello glanced at him weirdly. "Your doodle?" he repeated.

"My doodle." Matt nodded.

"What's your doodle?" Mello said in an amused tone.

"Y'know..." Matt reached over and poked Mello in between his legs. "My _that_."

"Matt!" Mello bellowed, jerking the steering wheel to the left and almost colliding with another car. "Don't touch me when I'm driving!"

"I'm sorry," Matt mumbled, shrinking back in his seat. He sucked on his thumb childishly while he cradled his injured wrist.

Mello sighed. "Look, Matt, I'm sorry," he said, rubbing his forehead. "Why does your..._doodle_ hurt?"

Matt rummaged around inside his vest pocket and pulled out a black crumpled piece of fabric. Mello glanced to the side and thought it looked-

"Why aren't you wearing your boxers?" Mello demanded.

"I didn't know where they go!" Matt cried. "I'm sorry!"

"You idiot, you're supposed to put them on before you put on your pants!"

"My doodle hurts!"

"Goddammit, _Matt_-!"

Mello broke off abruptly, clamping his lips shut. Matt whimpered about his 'doodle' as Mello maneuvered their car into their apartment's small driveway. Once the car was off, Mello unlocked the doors and stepped out, walking to the front door of their apartment. Without waiting for Matt, he unlocked the door and went in. He shredded his jacket and threw it on the couch, then threw the keys there as well. He went to the kitchen to retrieve his chocolate, and he had just taken a bite when he realized Matt hadn't come in.

_Great, what now? _He thought grumpily, standing in the still-open doorway. His eyes scanned the car, finding that Matt was still there. "Matt," Mello called. "Get the fuck in here."

Matt merely stared at him.

"Matt!" Mello said, louder.

Matt blinked.

"Matt!" Mello stomped over, ripped the door open, and said, "Are you deaf? Answer me when I talk to you!"

"I-" Matt tugged at his seatbelt. He looked up at Mello. "I don't know how to," he said sheepishly.

Mello pushed away the urge to strangle the redhead, instead leaning over his lap and pressing the release button for the seatbelt calmly. "There," Mello said with a forced smile. "Let's go in, yeah?"

"Okay!" Matt said happily, bounding out of the car and into their apartment.

After a brief twitch of his eye, Mello followed.

Fifteen minutes later, the Valium, unfortunately for Mello, had yet to wear off. _Jesus, how much did they give him?_ he asked himself as Matt rolled around on the floor aimlessly, flapping his arms up and down none too gracefully._ Valium makes Matt act like a pregnant woman_, Mello concluded, and before he could enjoy the thought of Matt being pregnant with his baby, said redhead appeared in his lap.

"Can I help you?" Mello asked, his voice slightly cracking. Oh, how tempting Matt's neck looked. A tight grip and a jerk would snap the delicate bone...

Matt just made himself comfortable in the leather-wearing man's lap. He laid his head on Mello's chest and curled his arms in to his chest, purring in the back of his throat in content. "Mello," he said, interrupting himself with a yawn. "Can you make me cookies for later?"

Cue the puppy eyes. Mello melted. "Sure," he bit out.

"With salt?" Matt asked hopefully.

"Salted cookies?" Mello queried uncertainly.

"Yeah."

"I guess it can't hurt."

"Okay. Thanks."

And when Mello looked down a minute later, Matt was out like a brick, passed out in his lap.

Mello sighed quietly, stroking Matt's back in a lulling fashion. When he decided the Matt was in deep enough sleep, he moved the gamer off of him. He set Matt's head down on the arm rest, straightened the rest of his body, and nearly drowned Matt in pillows, making sure that the injured wrist wouldn't be in a painful position. After figuring that Matt was comfortable enough(probably, anyway), Mello came in the kitchen to begin working on those salted cookies.

It eventually chimed six p.m., forty five minutes since Matt had fallen asleep. Now the goggled boy sat up, running a hand through his hair with his right hand. "Mello?" he called sleepily. God, he needed an Advil...

" 'm right here," Mello answered, walking into the living room with a plate of cookies fresh out of the oven.

"Oh, cookies!" Matt said happily, forgetting about his mini migraine. "Thanks Mels, you're awesome." He snatched the one that had the most chocolate chips in it and didn't hesitate to shove the whole thing in his mouth.

Mello watched him chew, then spit it out.

"Gross!" Matt coughed, thumping his chest. "What is that? Did you put fucking salt on it?"

Mello gave him a look that said, 'Are you kidding me?'

Matt stared back at him with a look that said, 'Salted cookies?'

Tranquilly, Mello picked up the TV remote.

Then he smashed it against the side of Matt's head, hard.

The following day found the pair once again in the hospital. Mello was sitting unhappily in the waiting room while Matt was being taken care of.

Guess what they gave him to dull his senses?

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**Happy birthday, BB! :D Hope you enjoyed, my friend. **


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